May 31, 2016 - Why HIV patients are giving up on treatment before they start
May 31, 2016 - Editorial: Trump has taught us to fear our fellow Americans
May 31, 2016 - Readings in Recovery: Today's Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
Today's thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
To assume what other people are thinking or feeling without asking them is to invite misunderstanding. Just as disastrous is to assume other people know what we want or need without our telling them. Many potentially good friendships and marriages perish because of our false assumptions and our lack of honest communication.
Do we assume others can't live without us or wouldn't know what to think or feel unless we told them? Do we take for granted that "silence means assent"? Do we assume others don't have time for us, or don't care about us, if they don't call or go out of their way to talk to us? Do we think others can read our minds without our ever opening our mouths?
Since we can only assume the same limited or distorted thoughts of others that we have of ourselves, we each need to take the initiative to ask probing questions and give honest responses in our relationships.
TODAY I will not make the mistake of projecting my feelings onto others. I will initiate honest and open communication.
To assume what other people are thinking or feeling without asking them is to invite misunderstanding. Just as disastrous is to assume other people know what we want or need without our telling them. Many potentially good friendships and marriages perish because of our false assumptions and our lack of honest communication.
Do we assume others can't live without us or wouldn't know what to think or feel unless we told them? Do we take for granted that "silence means assent"? Do we assume others don't have time for us, or don't care about us, if they don't call or go out of their way to talk to us? Do we think others can read our minds without our ever opening our mouths?
Since we can only assume the same limited or distorted thoughts of others that we have of ourselves, we each need to take the initiative to ask probing questions and give honest responses in our relationships.
TODAY I will not make the mistake of projecting my feelings onto others. I will initiate honest and open communication.
You are reading from the book:
The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes. © 1981 by Hazelden Foundation
May 31, 2016 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step
Step by Step
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
"...(D)eep down in every man, woman and child is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 4 ("We Agnostics"), p 55.
Today, if I expect AA to work for me, I must work with it, and I must knock down the wall that separates me from a power stronger than myself to begin my recovery. If I am struggling or even rejecting the possibility of such a power, let me read and embrace these words and accept on blind faith the hope that somewhere inside me is a "fundamental idea of God." He, God, need not be a religious entity but a spiritual one, and a "spiritual awakening," even if it is a basic change in my psyche or character, is required if I am to achieve any kind of quality sobriety. Today, I must put aside any resistance and open myself to the idea of a power stronger than myself so that I can earn the benefits of recovery. If alcohol is stronger than me, I have to believe that a force stronger than alcohol can restore me. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2016
May 31, 2016 - Readings in Recovery: Twenty-Four Hours a Day
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
AA Thought for the Day
I shall not wait to be drafted for service to AA. I shall volunteer. I shall be loyal in my attendance, generous in my giving, kind in my criticism, creative in my suggestions, loving in my attitudes. I shall give to AA my interest, my enthusiasm, my devotion and, most of all, myself.
Do I also accept this as my AA credo?
Meditation for the Day
Prayer is of many kinds but, of whatever kind, prayer is the linking up of the soul and mind to God. So, if prayer is only a glance of faith, a look or a word of love or just a feeling of confidence in the goodness and purpose in the universe, still the result of that prayer is added strength to meet all temptations and to overcome them. Even if no supplication is expressed, all the supply of strength that is necessary is secured because the soul, being linked and united to God, receives from Him all spiritual help needed. The soul, when in its human body, still needs the things belonging to its heavenly habitation.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may be taught how to pray. I pray that I may be linked through prayer to the mind and will of God.
Hazelden Foundation
May 31, 2016 - Readings in Recovery: A Day at a Time
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
Reflection for the Day
Giving love is a fulfillment in itself. It must not matter whether love is returned or not. If I give love only to get a response on my terms, my love is cancelled out by my motives. If I have the capacity to give love, then any return I get for it is a special bonus. It is through giving love freely and without expectation of return, that we find ourselves and build ourselves spiritually.
Have I begun to believe, in the words of Goethe, that, "Love does not dominate; it cultivates ...?"
Today I Pray
May I, the inveterate people-pleaser and approval-seeker, know that the only real love does not ask for love back. May God be patient as I try to practice this principle. May I rid myself of pride that throws itself in the way of love. May I discard my silly cat-and-mouse games that have no place in real love.
Today I Will Remember
I will not give love to get love.
Hazelden Foundation
May 31, 2016 - Readings in Recovery: The Eye Opener
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
For a person to attempt to live apart from this world is as useless as for a drop of water to live apart from the ocean. God put everything in this world, and He takes nothing out. To endeavor to withdraw from the world's activities is another way of fooling yourself. We are an influence for good or evil regardless of our attempts to hide from society at large.
When a rock falls from a cliff into the sea, it is not merely that the land is one rock less, it means the contour of the whole continent has changed. However, it is still a part of God's Universe whether it can be seen by man or not.
Hazelden Foundation
May 30, 2016 - Photo gallery: An artist captures the emptiness of depression in gay men
May 30, 2016 - Photo gallery: Honest reflections of men living with HIV
May 30, 2016 - Organized religion needs to join fight against homophobia and stigma
May 30, 2016 - Notes from the Kitten Cave
May 30, 2016 - Might you be a Democratic Socalist?
May 30, 2016 - Even if he loses nomination, Sanders has a role to serve
May 30, 2016 - The immoral use of Christian morality
May 30, 2016 - Things a real president wouldn't say but Donald Trump has
May 30, 2016 - Readings in Recovery: Today's Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation
Monday, May 30, 2016
Today's thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
I have learned this: it is not what one does that is wrong, but what one becomes as a consequence of it.
-- Oscar Wilde
There are countless ways to take shortcuts in life or to grab for pleasures. We could cheat on our income taxes, excuse a food binge, or lie to a loved one about where we've been. We say, "It won't hurt anyone!" "I wouldn't do it if it weren't for the other guy." Or, "Everyone does it." But if we are to like and respect ourselves, we need to live by the rules we believe in. Whether we get caught or not isn't the point. We cannot hold values and then repeatedly justify breaking them.
What does it do to us if we constantly fudge on our values? It undermines our self-esteem and damages the faith we have in ourselves. We do not expect to be perfect, but we must be accountable. If we are honest with ourselves, we admit our wrongs and reestablish our self-respect.
Today, I will take care to make choices that match my values.
I have learned this: it is not what one does that is wrong, but what one becomes as a consequence of it.
-- Oscar Wilde
There are countless ways to take shortcuts in life or to grab for pleasures. We could cheat on our income taxes, excuse a food binge, or lie to a loved one about where we've been. We say, "It won't hurt anyone!" "I wouldn't do it if it weren't for the other guy." Or, "Everyone does it." But if we are to like and respect ourselves, we need to live by the rules we believe in. Whether we get caught or not isn't the point. We cannot hold values and then repeatedly justify breaking them.
What does it do to us if we constantly fudge on our values? It undermines our self-esteem and damages the faith we have in ourselves. We do not expect to be perfect, but we must be accountable. If we are honest with ourselves, we admit our wrongs and reestablish our self-respect.
Today, I will take care to make choices that match my values.
You are reading from the book:
Touchstones ©1986, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation
May 30, 2016 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step
Step by Step
Monday, May 30, 2016
"The old pattern reasserted itself, but it was no longer once every six months. The intervals grew shorter. The binges were longer. They were harder to get off. I wasn't the type that could taper off. I had to stop cold. My last binge followed the previous one by two weeks. I had just come off a good one, and I went back on to the next one." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, "They Lost Nearly All," Ch 3 ("Desperation Drinking"), p 514.
Today, guard against the passage of time and my last drunk from fading the memory of what my drinking days were really like - pure desperation. If it is true that the best predictor of my future is my past conduct, I cannot afford to "romanticize" my drinking, that it was "fun" and that it didn't rip a path of destruction through myself and others. God grant me the honesty and wisdom to remember the desperation that finally pushed me to seek help after I exhausted all the denial, justifications and rationalizations. Let me understand and accept that desperation is all that awaits me again if I am not honest with myself in remembering what active alcoholism is truly like. Today, the desperation that is always there to greet me again can wait. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2016
May 30, 2016 - Readings in Recovery: Twenty-Four Hours a Day
Monday, May 30, 2016
AA Thought for the Day
I am part of AA, one among many, but I am one. I need the AA principles for the development of the buried life within me. AA may be human in its organization, but it is Divine in its purpose. The purpose is to point men toward God and a better life. Participating in the privilege of the movement, I shall share in the responsibilities, taking it upon myself to carry my fair share of the load, not grudgingly but joyfully. To the extent that I fail in my responsibilities, AA fails. To the extent that I succeed, AA succeeds.
Do I accept this as my AA credo?
Meditation for the Day
"Praise the Lord." What does praising God mean? It means being grateful for all the wonderful things in the universe and for all the blessings in your life. So praise God by being grateful and humble. Praise of this kind has more power to vanquish evil than has mere resignation. The truly grateful and humble person who is always praising God is not tempted to do wrong. You will have a feeling of security because you know that fundamentally all is well. So look up to God and praise Him.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may be grateful for all my blessings. I pray that I may be humble because I know that I do not deserve them.
Hazelden Foundation
May 30, 2016 - Readings in Recovery: A Day at a Time
Monday, May 30, 2016
Reflection for the Day
Since I've been in The Program, I've learned to redefine love. I've come to understand, for example, that sometimes it's necessary to place love ahead of indiscriminate "factual honesty." No longer, under the guise of "perfect honesty," can I cruelly and unnecessarily hurt others. Today, I always must ask myself, "What's the best and most loving thing I can do?"
Have I begun to sow the seeds of love in my daily living?
Today I Pray
May God, in His love, show me how to be loving. May I first sense the feelings of love and caring within me and then find ways to show those feelings. May I remember how many times I cut myself off from relationships because I did not know how either to let myself feel love or to show what I did feel.
Today I Will Remember
When I feel love, I will be loving.
Hazelden Foundation
May 30, 2016 - Readings in Recovery: The Eye Opener
Monday, May 30, 2016
We are all familiar with that class of people who have a drinking problem; they know they have it and they know that they can do nothing about it themselves. They also know that we had a similar problem and that we did something about it; their own eyes bear testimony to that effect - yet they refuse to take the message we bring them. They have ears, yet they will not hear. It is not our purpose to sell them a bill of goods. Our message is only for those who want it. They aren't ready yet, so conserve your efforts for those who are hungry for what we have to give.
Hazelden Foundation
May 29, 2016 - Editorial: Oklahoma makes the poor poorer
May 29, 2016 - Readings in Recovery: Today's Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation
Sunday, May 29, 2016
Today's thought from the Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
Things happen
A healthy friend dies participating in a sport she loves. A husband works hard on his marriage only to come home one day and find his wife in bed with another man.
A knock at the door, and a starving family opens it to find bags of groceries piled anonymously on the porch. A large order comes in just as a company is getting ready to close its doors, and the owner's dream is given new life.
Sometimes life twists. Sometimes it goes the other way, too. Things happen. Sometimes we label these events good, sometimes bad. We cannot always see the reason or purpose in them, but most of us choose to believe there's a Divine plan.
I don't know why I've received some of the blessings I've been given; I don't know why some of the sorrow has come my way. All I can do is trust that whatever comes my way, there's a lesson at hand.
Are you focusing on the circumstances of your life instead of the lessons? The circumstances are the tools. Be involved in them. Feel the pain of loss and the elation of victory. Let compassion work its way into your soul. Learn caring and kindness for others and yourself, too.
Instead of asking why, learn to ask what the lesson is. The moment you become ready to accept it, the lesson will become clear.
God, help me accept all the twists and turns along my path. Help me learn to say whatever to the good and the unfortunate incidents that come my way.
Things happen
A healthy friend dies participating in a sport she loves. A husband works hard on his marriage only to come home one day and find his wife in bed with another man.
A knock at the door, and a starving family opens it to find bags of groceries piled anonymously on the porch. A large order comes in just as a company is getting ready to close its doors, and the owner's dream is given new life.
Sometimes life twists. Sometimes it goes the other way, too. Things happen. Sometimes we label these events good, sometimes bad. We cannot always see the reason or purpose in them, but most of us choose to believe there's a Divine plan.
I don't know why I've received some of the blessings I've been given; I don't know why some of the sorrow has come my way. All I can do is trust that whatever comes my way, there's a lesson at hand.
Are you focusing on the circumstances of your life instead of the lessons? The circumstances are the tools. Be involved in them. Feel the pain of loss and the elation of victory. Let compassion work its way into your soul. Learn caring and kindness for others and yourself, too.
Instead of asking why, learn to ask what the lesson is. The moment you become ready to accept it, the lesson will become clear.
God, help me accept all the twists and turns along my path. Help me learn to say whatever to the good and the unfortunate incidents that come my way.
You are reading from the book:
More Language of Letting Go © 2000 by Melody Beattie
May 29, 2016 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step
Step by Step
Sunday, May 29, 2016
"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." - Step Two
Today, whether a newcomer or veteran of the program, if the term Higher Power discourages me because my faith has been ravaged by alcohol or a less than serene sobriety, let me re-read and understand the literal interpretation of Step Two. We are not asked to believe but come to believe in the possibility of a higher power. If I shrug off that possibility, I need only look to why I came to AA. And in doing that, I also reached for the possibility that some help I needed desperately exists. But if I cannot yet grasp the concept of a higher power, let me believe that Step Two is telling me that coming to believe in and accepting a higher power is a dynamic process, one that requires ongoing change. Just as I did not become sober after my last drink and weeks, months or longer to go from being dry to being sober, so it goes with developing an understanding of the principles of the Twelve Steps. Today, I will not give up if I do not believe in that higher power and instead will proceed with the promise of Step Two that I will one day find it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M., 2016
May 29, 2016 - Readings in Recovery: Twenty-Four Hours a Day
Sunday, May 29, 2016
AA Thought for the Day
We who have learned to put our drink problem in God's hands can help others to do so. We can be used as a connection between an alcoholic's need and God's supply of strength. We in Alcoholics Anonymous can be uniquely useful just because we have the misfortune or fortune to be alcoholics ourselves. Do I want to be a uniquely useful person?
Will I use my own greatest defeat and failure and sickness as a weapon to help others?
Meditation for the Day
I will try to help others. I will try not to let a day pass without reaching out an arm of love to someone. Each day I will try to do something to lift another human being out of the sea of discouragements into which he or she has fallen. My helping hand is needed to raise the helpless to courage, to strength, to faith, to health. In my own gratitude, I will turn and help other alcoholics with the burden that is pressing too heavily upon them.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may be used by God to lighten many burdens. I pray that many souls may be helped through my efforts.
Hazelden Foundation
May 29, 2016 - Readings in Recovery: A Day at a Time
Sunday, May 29, 2016
Reflection for the Day
When we first reached The Program and for the first time in our lives stood among people who seemed to understand, the sense of belonging was exhilarating. We felt that the problem of isolation had been solved. We soon discovered, however, that while we weren't alone any more, in a social sense, we still suffered many of the old pangs of anxious apartness. Until we had talked with complete candor of our conflicts and had listened to someone else do the same thing, we still didn't belong. Step Five was the answer.
Have I found through the Fifth Step the beginning of true kinship with my fellows and God?
Today I Pray
May God help me learn to share myself, my attributes and my failings, not just as I take the Fifth Step but in a continuing give-and-take process with my friends. May I cultivate an attitude of openness and honesty with others, now that I have begun to be honest with myself. May I remember who I used to be - the child in a game of hide-and-seek, who hid so well that nobody could find her/him and everyone gave up trying and went home.
Today I Will Remember
I will be open to friendship.
Hazelden Foundation
May 29, 2016 - Readings in Recovery: The Eye Opener
Sunday, May 29, 2016
Life has been hard on us, but most of it was made hard by ourselves. The hard life, however, taught us much: it strengthened our muscles; it broadened our experiences. We are better men because of it. We have known much of hunger, pain, defeat, mental anguish, despair and shame. Only the good survived this ordeal, and we can alleviate the sufferings of the world all the better because we have suffered also.
God was not punishing us ...He was conditioning us.
Hazelden Foundation
May 28, 2016 - When the Web says you're something you're not
May 28, 2016 - Photo gallery: All hands on deck: A very gay history of sailors in pop culture
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