July 31, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: Today's Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation

 

Monday, July 31, 2023

Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

Almost everyone wants something for nothing.

— Marsha Sinetar

Bargains attract. Finding a good value excites us, and we share the news quickly. Wanting anything for free is human nature perhaps. However, many of us have had to learn again and again that you get what you pay for. This is true of human interactions too.

Why do we think that others will be there for us if we aren’t available for them? Having friends means being a friend, even if it’s time-consuming. Although friendship’s rewards are indisputable, we still tend to wait, letting the other person make the first move. Getting the other person to commit first reduces our effort, perhaps, but we will still receive according to what we give.

Knowing and utilizing this principle simplifies our lives. Once we master it, we never forget it. And what we bring to our relationships will be given back to us.

I am willing to give to others what I want in return today. Their efforts will match my own.

Hazelden Foundation

July 31, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step
Monday, July 31, 2023

“The old (drinking) pattern reasserted itself, but it was no longer once every six months. The intervals grew shorter. The binges were longer. They were harder to get off. …
“That type of drinking is not pleasant. It is no longer enjoyable. You no longer get the kicks. It is desperation drinking. I was drinking to keep away the shakes …I was drinking to try to hold on to a job, to try and hold on to my home, to try to hold on to my wife, to try to hold on to my sanity.” 
– Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part III (“They Lost Nearly All”), Ch 8 (“Desperation Drinking”), p 514.

Today, honesty to accept that I am in deep trouble if drinking is my answer to any desperation I feel — be it a situation I desperately want not to face, or the talk with my spouse, partner or employer, the constantly ringing telephone that I will not answer because someone might be calling about my drinking or some problem it has caused. If drinking is my solution to any problem in my life, let me hear the voices of experience that my solution has become a crisis bigger than the problem I’m avoiding. And if I have not drank for any significant number of 24 Hours, chances are I now cannot remember the problem I drank to avoid. But in drinking, I and I alone created my life’s single direst crisis that was far worse than any problem I faced sober. Todayalcohol will not be my solution to any problem that I may encounter. My answer is the Twelve Steps. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2023

July 31, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: Twenty-Four Hours a Day

 

Twenty-Four Hours a Day
Monday, July 31, 2023

AA Thought for the Day
This leaves only one day — today. Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burden of those two awful eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives us mad. It is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday or the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Let us therefore do our best to live but one day at a time.

Am I living one day at a time?

Meditation for the Day
Give God the gift of a thankful heart. Try to see causes of thankfulness in your everyday life. When life seems hard and troubles crowd, then look for some reasons for thankfulness. There is nearly always something you can be thankful for. The offering of thanksgiving is indeed a sweet incense going up to God throughout a busy day. Seek diligently for something to be glad and thankful about. You will acquire in time the habit of blessings. Each new day some new cause for joy and gratitude will spring to your mind and you will thank God sincerely.

Prayer for the Day
I pray for a truly thankful heart. I pray that I may be constantly reminded of causes for sincere gratitude.

Hazelden Foundation

July 31, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: A Day at a Time

 

A Day at a Time
Monday, July 31, 2023

Reflection for the Day
One of the most serious consequences of the me-me-me syndrome is that we lose touch with practically everyone around us – not to mention reality itself. The essence of self-pity is total self-absorption, and it feeds on itself. Rather than ignore such an emotional state — or deny that we’re in it — we need to pull out of our self-absorption, stand back, and take a good honest look at ourselves. Once we recognize self-pity for what it is, we can begin to do something about it.

Am I living in the problem rather than the answer?

Today I Pray
I pray that my preoccupation with self, which is wound up tight as a Maypole, may unwind itself and let its streamers fly again for others to catch and hold. May the thin, familiar wail of me-me-me become a chorus of us-us-us, as we in the fellowship pick apart our self-fullness and look at it together.

Today I Will Remember
Change me-me-me to us-us-us.

Hazelden Foundation

July 31, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: The Eye Opener

 

The Eye Opener
Monday, July 31, 2023

In our drinking days, we were ready to take a poke at anyone who suggested we couldn’t handle our “likker.” It was a very sore spot with us, as we all kidded ourselves into believing that our over-indulgence was a well-guarded secret when, actually, we knew it was not.

Upon our entrance in AA, we soon made a public confession of our alcoholism and, to our surprise, we lost some of the sense of stigma and we could learn to laugh at our affliction and at ourselves. Our sense of guilt was lessened by our acknowledgment of its existence.

Hazelden Foundation

July 31, 2023 – Good morning to this fantastic Monday and new week

 

Good morning and let’s start this magnificent Monday with confidence and affirmation that we can handle whatever the day has in store

July 30, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: Today's Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation

 

Sunday, July 30, 2023

Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

Hope arouses, as nothing else can arouse, a passion for the possible.

— William Sloane Coffin Jr.

For many of us, the past is sprinkled with endeavors that were never pursued to completion. Perhaps some pursuits were more complicated than we were equipped to handle. But it’s likely that, at times, we gave up the idea, or ran from the struggle, before we’d experienced the first major barrier. Then, unlike now, we were short on hope, vision, and confidence. Most of all, we probably lacked faith that a power greater than ourselves could guide our steps and help us make the decisions that would bring our efforts to completion.

By working our program, we gain confidence and new vision. As our faith grows, so does our connection to God. God is the source of hope, of all the strength and understanding we need for any challenge or creative endeavor.

With hope, nothing is so overwhelming that we can’t move forward, and nothing we really need will be beyond our grasp.

I will make use of God’s gift of hope to overcome any barriers I meet today.

Hazelden Foundation

July 30, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step
Sunday, July 30, 2023

Today, I realize the character defects identified in my Fourth Step probably existed before my drinking days and that alcohol simply developed them to their destructive zenith. My Sixth and Seventh steps of first admitting to God that I am powerless and then asking Him to remove my defects assume paramount honesty in my recovery because I am likely to be challenged to release defects that have had a lifetime to take root — more than those that flourished in my drinking days. And if my defects are lifelong, simply not drinking will not give me the sobriety and quality of recovery for which I strive. Today, I am an alcoholic, and abstaining from drinking is not enough. I consider myself a part of AA and, today, as I talk the talk, I will walk the walk. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2023

July 30, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: Twenty-Four Hours a Day

 

Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Sunday, July 30, 2023

AA Thought for the Day

The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow, with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise, and perhaps its poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow’s sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is as yet unborn.

Do I still worry too much about tomorrow?

Meditation for the Day

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Faith is not seeing, but believing. Down through the ages, there have always been those who obeyed the heavenly vision, not seeing but believing in God. And their faith was rewarded. So shall it be to you. Good things will happen to you. You cannot see God, but you can see the results of faith in human lives, changing them from defeat to victory. God’s grace is available to all who have faith — not seeing, but believing. With faith, life can be victorious and happy.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may have faith enough to believe without seeing. I pray that I may be content with the results of my faith.

Hazelden Foundation

July 30, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: A Day at a Time

 

A Day at a Time
Sunday, July 30, 2023

Reflection for the Day
When we first come to The Program, the most common variety of self-pity begins:“Poor me! Why can’t I (fill in your own addiction) like everybody else? Why me?” Such bemoaning, if allowed to persist, is a surefire invitation for a long walk off a short pier — right back to the mess we were in before we came to The Program. When we stick around The Program for a while, we discover that it’s not just “me” at all; we become involved with people, from all walks of life, who are in exactly the same boat.

Am I losing interest in my comfortably familiar “pity pot?”

Today I Pray
When self-pity has me droopy and inert, may I look up, look around and perk up. Self-pity, God wills, vanishes in the light of other people’s shared troubles. May I always wish for friends honest enough to confront me if they see me digging my way back down into my old pity pit.

Today I Will Remember
Turn self-involvement into involvement.

Hazelden Foundation

July 30, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: The Eye Opener

 

The Eye Opener
Sunday, July 30, 2023

No pleasures of our drinking days even compensated for those horrible nights of wakeful tossing. The interminable pacing the floor; those night sweats; the endless hours when we couldn’t sleep and at the same time dreaded falling asleep. The hours that seemed to stretch into eternity as we lay in bed with remorse as a bedfellow. Then the Hell of the goof-balls that made our nights better and our days worse.

The physical pain we might have endured for many more years, but the anguish of the heart and soul was unendurable.

Hazelden Foundation

July 30, 2023 – Good morning and let’s make it a serene but super Sunday

 

Good morning wish wishes of a serene but productive and worthwhile Sunday for anyone …and without the drama and trauma of people who don’t deserve our attention

July 29, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: Today's Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation

 

Saturday, July 29, 2023

Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

The Twelve Step way of life is humble, not necessarily meek.

 Anonymous

The picture many of us get of a humble person is someone afraid of their own shadow, whose self-image is so low they’re afraid to stand up for themselves. We learn that this image of humility is not what is meant in the Program. We realize that the people who have stayed abstinent for some time are all humble.

For those who have made progress in the Program, humility is simply a clear recognition of what and who they are. They have gotten down to their own right size. Humility is understanding that they’re worthwhile. It’s the middle ground between the extremes of grandiosity and intense shame. They have a sincere desire to be and become the best they can be.

Today I will remember that humility is not being meek. It’s being me. Humility for me means staying my “right size.”

Hazelden Foundation

July 29, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Saturday, July 29, 2023

Today, if I am holding onto a resentment that I have turned over to my Higher Power but taken back, I will do what the Program suggests: pray daily for two weeks for the target of my resentment. We are promised by the Program to receive serenity and freedom from the character defects that weigh us down. No defect that weighs us down is stronger than resentment. Today, I’ll give the Program’s suggestion to pray for the person I resent a try, however grudgingly, and admit my prayers aren’t totally altruistic. They are actually for me …because the person I resent nor anyone else is worth the mental and physical cost of holding and feeding my resentment and anger. Enough is enough: no more empowering someone else to mess with my recovery and serenity and live in my brain rent-free. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2023

July 29, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: Twenty-Four Hours a Day

 

Twenty-Four Hours a Day
Saturday, July 29, 2023

AA Thought for the Day
What a load wasting money puts on your shoulders! They say that members of AA have paid the highest initiation fee of any club members in the world, because we’ve wasted so much money on liquor. We’ll never be able to figure out how much it was. We not only wasted our own money, but also the money we should have spent on our families. When you come into AA, that terrible load of wasted money falls off your shoulders. We alcoholics were getting round-shouldered from carrying all those loads that drinking put on our shoulders. But when we come into AA, we get a wonderful feeling of release and freedom.

Can I throw back my shoulders and look the whole world in the face again?

Meditation for the Day
I believe that the future is in the hands of God. He knows better than I what the future holds for me. I am not at the mercy of fate or buffeted about by life. I am being led in a very definite way, as I try to rebuild my life. I am the builder, but God is the architect. It is mine to build as best I can, under His guidance.

Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may depend on God, since He has planned my life. I pray that I may live my life as I believe God wants me to live it.

Hazelden Foundation

July 29, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: A Day at a Time

 

A Day at a Time
Saturday, July 29, 2023

Reflection for the Day
I used to imagine my life as a grotesque abstract painting; a montage of crises framed by end-upon-end catastrophies. My days all were grey and my thoughts grayer still. I was haunted by dread and nameless fears. I was filled with self-loathing. I had no idea who I was, what I was or why I was. I miss none of those feelings. Today, step by step, I am discovering myself and learning that I can be free to be me.

Am I grateful for my new life? Have I taken the time to thank God today for the fact that I am clean and sober – and alive?

Today I Pray
May calm come to me after the turmoil and nightmares of the past. As my fears and self-hatred dissipate, may the things of the spirit replace them. For in the spiritual world, as in the material world, there is no empty space. May I be filled with the spirit of my Higher Power.

Today I Will Remember
Morning scatters nightmares.

Hazelden Foundation

July 29, 203 - Readings in Recovery: The Eye Opener

 

The Eye Opener
Saturday, July 29, 2023

On that awful day when the world had toppled about us, when all hope had departed and only wild desperation remained, then was the night darkest and nearest was the dawn. At this darkest hour, we “hit our bottom.” There was no way to go but UP.

As dawn follows darkness in Nature’s scheme, so darkness follows again in its turn. All things, save God, are transitory and what one day can bring, another day can take away. Let us not feel too secure in our sobriety, for darkness will come in the regular course of events, and we must be sure we have provided ourselves with the Light which will enable us to keep our footing on the slippery paths ahead.

Hazelden Foundation

July 29, 2023 – Rise ‘n shine for a splendid Saturday and weekend

 

Good morning and let’s all make it a productive and worthwhile but safe Saturday and weekend and not allow anything and anyone the control to ruin them

July 28, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: Today's Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation

 

Friday, July 28, 2023

Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

The real sin against life is to destroy beauty, even one’s own — even more one’s own, for that has been put in our care, and we are responsible for its well-being.

— Katherine Anne Porter

A good way to start each day is by asking, “What can I do to take care of myself today?” To ask and answer that question is to affirm our belief that we’re worth taking care of. It also requires looking within ourselves with honesty. Is it hard to admit we’re struggling with our addiction? Or that we’re feeling sick? Or that such feelings as rage, sorrow, or fear are predominant? Or that we’re working through incest, sexual, physical, or emotional abuse issues?

Meeting our needs with gentleness and compassion softens the task of being good to ourselves. It may take a long time of asking, “What can I do to take care of myself?” before we actually know how to or want to. But just as a good parent thinks of how to take care of his or her child, we can learn to do the same for ourselves. Each time we do, we move closer to higher self-esteem.

What can I do to take care of myself today?

Hazelden Foundation

July 28, 2023 - Readings in recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Friday, July 28, 2023

Today, abstaining from drinking is not enough in recovery. Alcoholism is a three-level disease — physical, emotional, and spiritual. While not drinking is certainly a beginning, it is not the end. Not drinking will improve the physical ravages only but not the psychological and spiritual damage. It is for treatment of the emotional and spiritual that we have a recovery program. Here, we are given the tools to undo the damage we have done and, when repair isn’t possible, how to accept our mistakes, forgive ourselves even when no one else does and move toward sobriety. Without that treatment we are less sober and more likely a dry drunk. Today, I accept that not drinking by itself is not enough to attain the sobriety and quality of the life I seek. Today, I pick up and begin to use the Program’s 12 Steps of recovery. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2023

July 28, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: Twenty-Four Hours a Day

 

Twenty-Four Hours a Day
Friday, July 28, 2023

AA Thought for the Day
To continue the paraphrase of the psalm: “The judgments of the twelve steps are true and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than whiskey, yea, than much fine whiskey, sweeter also than wine. Moreover, by them are alcoholics warned and in keeping of them there is great reward. Who can understand our alcoholism? Cleanse us from secret faults. Keep us from presumptuous resentments. Let them not have dominion over us. Then shall we be upright and free of the great transgression.”

Am I resolved that liquor will never again have dominion over me?

Meditation for the Day
God can be your shield. Then no problems of the world can harm you. Between you and all scorn and indignity from others is your trust in God, like a shining shield. Nothing can then have the power to spoil your inward peace. With this shield, you can attain this inward peace quickly, in your surroundings as well as in your heart. With this inward peace, you do not need to resent the person who troubles you. Instead, you can overcome the resentment in your own mind which may have been aroused by that person.

Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may strive for inward peace. I pray that I may not be seriously upset, no matter what happens around me.

Hazelden Foundation

July 28, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: A Day at a Time

 

A Day at a Time
Friday, July 28, 2023

Reflection for the Day
We learn the value of meditation in The Program. As the beginning of the Eleventh Step suggests, we seek through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understand Him. One of the great values of meditation is that it clears the mind. And as the mind becomes clearer, it becomes more capable and willing to acknowledge the truth. Less pain is required to force honest recognition of defects and their results. The real needs of the whole person are revealed.

Are prayer and meditation a regular part of my daily living?

Today I Pray
May God’s truths be revealed to me through meditation and these small prayers, through contact with my group which keeps me mindful of my need to clear my mind with daily meditation. For only an uncluttered mind can receive God; only a mind cleansed of self-interest can acknowledge the truth.

Today I Will Remember
Meditation is a mind-cleanser.

Hazelden Foundation

July 28, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: The Eye Opener

 

The Eye Opener
Friday, July 28, 2023

In AA, we must of necessity make the best use of our time. The hours must be allocated to our various affairs in proportion to their importance. We now have so many responsibilities we did not have in our drinking days.

If we wisely divide our time between our duties to our families, our jobs, our community, our God and getting our own lives in order, we will find little time left for worry, fear, self-pity or envy.

Hazelden Foundation

July 28, 2023 – Good morning to a beautiful and here-at-last Friday

 

Good morning with a getting-down dancing chicken to get this fantastic Friday off to a great start …make today count for something, and don’t empower anything and anyone to screw it up

July 27, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: Today's Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation

 

Thursday, July 27, 2023

Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

Service is the rent you pay for room on this earth.

— Shirley Chisholm

As active addicts, we became very self-centered, acting as if we were the center of the universe. We demanded free rent. Many of us forgot why we were placed on this earth: we are here to be of service. What does being of service mean? It means being available, and it means doing. It is action, not just thoughts of action. We are to be doers. In our program, we help others get and stay sober. But we also clean coffee pots, answer phones, and attend meetings. We see a need, and we address it.

Outside of our program, we are to help those in need. If we have a friend who is hurt and can’t get around, maybe we do some of this person’s chores. If we have an elderly neighbor who can’t get out, maybe we offer to do his or her shopping. Or maybe it means volunteering at a local agency. Service helps us by freeing ourselves of ego — if we let go. We need to pay our rent, and we need to pay it on time.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me to be of service. I often forget my true purpose in life, which is to be of service to you and others. Help me to remember.

Today’s Action

I will make a list of four things I can do today to help others. I will do all four things.

Hazelden Foundation

July 27, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step
Thursday, July 27, 2023

“What is this power that AA possesses? This curative power? I don’t know what it is. I suppose the doctor might say, ‘This is psychosomatic medicine.’ I suppose the psychiatrist might say, ‘This is benevolent interpersonal relations.’ I suppose others would say, ‘This is group psychotherapy.’

To me, it is God.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Part II (“They Stopped in Time”), Ch 6 (“Physician, Heal Thyself!”), p 352.

Today, how many more voices of experience must I hear until I simply consider the possibility of a Higher Power if I am still struggling with the concept? If I continue to listen skeptically to the many voices of those who have recovered by giving their will to a Higher Power, maybe I can simply trust the AA command to “Keep It Simple” — simply take a leap of nothing but blind faith that something as good can exist if something as evil as alcohol can bring me to my knees. But if I still resist those voices of experience, hopefully I can muster the honesty to see that doing things my way hasn’t worked and that maybe something outside myself can do a better job. Today, I seek if nothing else the blind faith to trust the voices of experience or, at least, my own history of not doing such a great job on my own. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2023

July 27, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: Twenty-Four Hours a Day

 

Twenty-Four Hours a Day
Thursday, July 27, 2023

AA Thought for the Day
To paraphrase the psalm: “We alcoholics declare the power of liquor and drunkenness showeth its handiwork. Day unto day uttereth hangovers and night unto night showeth suffering. The law of AA is perfect, converting the drunk. The testimony of AA is sure, making wise the simple. The statutes of AA are right, rejoicing the heart. The program of AA is pure, enlightening the eyes. The fear of the first drink is clean, enduring forever.”

Have I any doubt about the power of liquor?

Meditation for the Day
Walk humbly with thy Lord.” Walking with God means practicing the presence of God in your daily affairs. It means asking God for strength to face each new day. It means turning to Him often during the day in prayer for yourself and for other people. It means thanking Him at night for the blessings you have received during the day. Nothing can seriously upset you if you are “walking with God.” You can believe that He is beside you in spirit, to help you and to guide you on your way.

Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may try to walk humbly with God. I pray that I may turn to Him often as to a close friend.

Hazelden Foundation

July 27, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: A Day at a Time

 

A Day at a Time
Thursday, July 27, 2023

Reflection for the Day
Over and over, I see that those who make the best and steadiest progress in The Program are those who readily accept the help of a Higher Power. Once they can do that, it’s easier for them to get out of their own way. Their problems then seem to resolve themselves in a way that is beyond human understanding.

Do I realize that the effectiveness with which I use the consciousness of God in my daily life depends not on Him, but on me?

Today I Pray
May I know that my recovery and growth depend on my being in touch with my Higher Power, not just once in a while, but always. It means turning to that Power several times a day to ask for strength and knowledge of His will. When I understand that my own life is part of a Higher Plan, I will be less apt to trip and fall, head off in the wrong direction, or just to sit tight and let life pass me by.

Today I Will Remember
To be God-conscious.

Hazelden Foundation

July 27, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: The Eye Opener

 

The Eye Opener
Thursday, July 27, 2023

Everything you can buy with money will either die, rot, wither, evaporate or decay. There is nothing you can purchase that will surely last as long as you will, unless it be bad health.

Friends can be bought, not with money, but by a liberal expenditure of yourself. A dollar is a poor weapon to fight off real troubles.

God is Good and the truly Good things of this life were put here on earth for our use by Him and not one of them carries a price tag.

Hazelden Foundation

July 27, 2023 – Good morning to a fantastic and worthwhile Thursday

 

Good morning and greetings and salutations to all with hopes of a drama- and trauma-free and productive and worthwhile Thursday for everyone

July 26, 2023 - Readings in Recovery: Today's Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation

 

Wednesday, July 26, 2023

Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:

It was the worst time of my life. I couldn’t go forward and I couldn’t go back.

— Cherry F.

Some decisions are very hard to make. But indecision is hard too. It fixes us, in fact, right at the point of pain. Not to decide is not to go on. In the end, it causes more pain than making the hard decision.

To waffle back and forth between yes and no, stop and go, is to walk right up to the brink and then back off. Rather than trusting ourselves to do what has to be done, we fight the same battle again and again. Postponement isn’t relief. Indecision isn’t a solution.

Decisions about whether or not we need to make amends, whether we should get into or stay in a relationship, whether now is a good time to start that diet or stop smoking – all carry price tags. There is probably no decision for change that isn’t difficult to make. But indecision guarantees that change won’t happen. With practice, we can learn to trust in our ability to shape our lives.

I pray for clear insight about my own decision-making process. I pray for courage to take care of business.

Hazelden Foundation

April 27, 2024 - Readings in Recovery: Today's Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation

  Saturday, April 27, 2024 Today's Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is: It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter. ...