Oct. 12, 2024 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Saturday, Oct. 12, 2024

” …(T)he best thing of all for me is to remember that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations …the lower is my serenity. I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my expectations. But then my ‘rights’ try to move in, and they, too, can force my serenity level down. I have to discard my ‘rights,’ as well as my expectations, by asking myself, ‘How important is it, really? How important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional sobriety?’ And when I place more value on my serenity and sobriety than on anything else, I can maintain them at a higher level — at least for the time being.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 17 (“Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict”), p 452.

Today, sobriety as a gift instead of a “right” that is no more a right than the ability to drink responsibly, a privilege I have lost. By thinking of sobriety as a gift, may other of my expectations of recovery be realistically framed: that I not be spared the daily challenges or problems that non-alcoholics have, that I not feel entitled to a “free ride” without bumps, turmoil, even tragedies. Sobriety must be respected as a gift and not a right, a gift that requires development, nurturing and the constant reminder that it can be taken away — if I neglect it. Today, sobriety is a gift, sometimes fragile. Handle it with care and respect. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2024

Oct. 11, 2024 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Friday, Oct. 11, 2024

” …A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling. We are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful health restorative. We, who have recovered from serious drinking, are miracles of mental health. …
“But this does not mean that we disregard human health measures. God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists and practitioners of various kinds. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such persons.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 9 (“The Family Afterward”), p 133.

Today, recovery from extended daily drinking will come in time and only if I allow it by total abstinence. It took a long time for my body, mind and spirit to become part of the alcoholic culture; it may take as long or longer to recover. In my zeal to recover, let me understand that my physical recovery may take weeks or months but that my spiritual and emotional recovery will take longer — perhaps a lifetime longer. And until my spiritual and emotional health is back on an even playing field although my body has recovered, I need to realize that the Twelve Steps are the way for me to recover. But should I suspect a need for medical or psychological treatment, let me not be reluctant to seek it out. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2024

Oct. 10, 2024 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024

” …I think there are some of us who, at times, try to read extra messages and complexities into the Steps. …AA is within the reach of every alcoholic, because it can be achieved in any walk of life and because the achievement is not ours but God’s. …there is no situation too difficult, none too desperate, no unhappiness too great to be overcome in this great fellowship — Alcoholics Anonymous.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 11 (“A Flower of the South”), p 395.

Today, no searching for words of eloquence to convince anyone of the redemption, reconciliation and power of AA and, instead, letting my example serve as its most powerful testament. ” …No situation too difficult, none too desperate, no unhappiness too great to be overcome.” If today I think or feel that I have fallen too deeply too fast, am beyond saving or that the damage I have inflicted is so beyond repair that a new beginning is impossible, let me have if nothing else blind faith to make the call that could be my new beginning. Today, I do not and cannot accept that I am beyond the reach of recovery, and I set out to start anew — and sober. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2024

Oct. 9, 2024 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Wednesday, Oct. 9, 2024

” …’If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free. Even when you don’t really want it for them, and your prayers are only words and you don’t mean it, go ahead and do it anyway. Do it every day for two weeks and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate understanding and love.’” — Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 12 (“Freedom from Bondage”), p 552.

Today, if resentment is the deadliest poison to alcoholics alongside alcohol, I will make a sincere effort to free myself of it once and for all. If “Let Go and Let God” has failed because I have taken back my resentment, I’ll try what is suggested here — pray for the person or thing I resent to receive what I want for myself. Even if I can’t say I am sincere and honest in my hopes for whoever or whatever I resent, I will try for two weeks to pray for the best for them. God granting, after two weeks, the monkey on my back will be gone. Like alcohol and all the garbage that comes with it, as for resentment: enough is enough. Time to get rid of it. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2024

Oct. 8, 2024 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Tuesday, Oct. 8, 2024

“In AA, we can begin again no matter how late it may be. I have begun again. At 54, I have had come true for me the old wish, ‘If only I could live my life over, knowing what I know.’ That’s what I am doing, living again, knowing what I know. I hope I have been able to impart …at least a bit of what I know; the joy of living, the irresistible power of divine love and its healing strength, and the fact that we, as sentient beings, have the knowledge to choose between good and evil, and, choosing good, are made happy.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 11 (“He Who Loses His Life”), p 543.

Today, it’s not too late until it’s too late — and it’s too late only when I’ve died. Until then, I have the lifeline and the choice of sobriety, and all I need do is grab and hold onto the lifeline, the lifeline being recovery. Even if I cannot yet envision the Program’s promise of sobriety if I adhere to the Twelve Steps, I know already all too well the life I have if I don’t begin anew. In the end, the decision is a matter of choice — to continue in the life of active drinking that I already know with agonizing pain, or to choose something better. Today, I choose something better: it’s not too late because I’m here! And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2024

Oct. 7, 2024 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Monday, Oct. 7, 2024

“The spark that was to flare into the first AA group was struck at Akron, Ohio, in June 1935, during a talk between a New York stockbroker and an Akron physician. Six months earlier, the broker had been relieved of his drink obsession by a sudden spiritual experience, following a meeting with an alcoholic friend who had been in contact with the Oxford Groups of that day. He had also been greatly helped by the late Dr. William D. Silkworth, a New York specialist in alcoholism …From this doctor, the broker had learned the grave nature of alcoholism. Though he could not accept all the tenets of the Oxford Groups, he was convinced of the need for moral inventory, confession of personality defects, restitution to those harmed, helpfulness to others, and the necessity of belief in and dependence upon God.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “Foreword to the Second Edition,” pp-xv, xvi.

Today, “moral inventory, confession of personality defects, restitution to those harmed, helpfulness to others, and the necessity of belief in and dependence upon God.” With that simple objective, the Twelve Steps guide us to recovery, serenity, humility and service. We need not complicate or make a mystery of our reasons to seek recovery or how to earn it. With our admission that we are powerless over alcohol and whatever else we cannot control and a determination and commitment to go to any length to make our lives one without alcohol, and to make it work, nothing exists to complicate our recovery. Today, being drunk 24/7 has had its run. I want recovery. Today, I begin. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2024

Oct. 6, 2024 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Sunday, Oct. 6, 2024

“The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 2 (“There Is a Solution”), p 24.

Today, if the numbing physical and psychological impact of my last drunk has been weakened by the passage of time, let me recall honestly the outcome of my last drunk — with the same consequences, if not worse, of every drunk before the last one. I have long since passed the point that a drunk tonight will be less physically painful and less costly than my last drunk, even if it was years ago. My sobriety today does not promise I will be sober tomorrow, but it does promise that I have a choice today to drink or not. If the memory of the physical and emotional toll of my last drunk has been diminished by time, pray I know that I and I alone will be responsible for the consequences of another drunk. And lest I forget that, if the consequences were too heavy then, they will probably be heavier next time. Today, I have the choice, and I choose not to forget my last drunk. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2024

Oct. 5, 2024 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Saturday, Oct. 5, 2024

“My story has a happy ending, but not of the conventional kind. I had a lot more hell to go through. But what a difference there is between going through hell without a power greater than one’s self, and with it! …(M)y teetering tower of worldly success collapsed. My alcoholic associates fired me, took control and ran the enterprise into bankruptcy. My alcoholic wife took up someone else, divorced me and took with her all my remaining property. The most terrible blow of my life befell me after I’d found sobriety through AA. …One night my son, when he was only 16, was suddenly and tragically killed. The Higher Power was on deck to see me through, sober. I think He’s on hand to see my son through, too. I think He’s on hand to see all of us through whatever may come to us.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 16 (“Me an Alcoholic?”), p 437.

Today, foresight to know and be prepared for the day when my recovery program is called upon to keep me sober through the bad. I must accept that bad things are going to happen in my life and that recovery is not a promise that the bad will not happen. But recovery is a promise that I can get through the bad sober if I not only adhere to the 12 Steps but also trust a Higher Power stronger than me. I absolutely must be willing to be open to the idea of a Higher Power, even if that Power is the Program itself. On good days, it’s easy to talk the talk; on bad ones, it’s another to walk the walk. Disappointments and tragedy can be expected to hit me, just as they do the non-alcoholic. Let me begin today to invest in a program strong enough that I can draw upon when the good days aren’t so good. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2024

Oct. 4, 2024 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Friday, Oct. 4, 2024

“For me, AA is a synthesis of all the philosophy I’ve ever read, all of the positive, good philosophy, all of it based on love. I have seen that there is only one law, the law of love, and there are only two sins; the first is to interfere with the growth of another human being, and the second is to interfere with one’s own growth.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 11 (“He Who Loses His Life”), p 542.

Today, how not to impede anyone’s growth — emotional and spiritual — including my own. If the traditional definition of philosophy as an ideal state of life is applied to recovery, then, no, the Program is not a philosophy. Rather, it is a discipline because recovery does not promise a rose garden but gives us the tools to effectively deal with the thorns in the rose bed of life. And discipline is required to stick to the Steps that help us to deal effectively with the thorns of life. How do I not impede anyone’s personal growth, including my own? Simple: look to Step 11 and seek my Higher Power’s will and the ability to carry it out. His will, not mine, be done. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2024

Oct. 3, 2024 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Thursday, Oct. 3, 2024

” …I went to my first meeting. I was a very fortunate drunk. God has been good to me both in my drinking and in my sobriety. Because, thank God, since I came into this program, I haven’t had any trouble. Oh yes, I get the dry jitters once in a while, but that isn’t anything to worry about. It passes away. But I’ve never come close to that first drink. I took the advice of people I had heard at meetings, the people in the group. And I jumped in with both feet. Someone told me, ‘When you drank, you didn’t get half-drunk. You went all the way. In this program, there aren’t any halfway measures. In here, you must go all the way, too.’ So I attended as many meetings as possible.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 8 (“Desperation Drinking”), p 516.

Today, “half measures availed us nothing.” Today, I will apply the full measures I exerted on drinking to get sober, and I will listen to the voices of experience and set aside the egoism that I think I know better than anyone else. And if a shot of the “dry jitters” creeps in, I have the Twelve Steps to fall back on and the promise that, “This, too, shall pass.” But I must first get to the point that enough is enough and, today, I give it up, facing that enough is enough. With that desire for something better, I have taken my first baby step. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2024

Oct. 2, 2024 - Readings in Recovery; Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Wednesday, Oct. 2, 2024

“It would be wonderful were I able to tell you that my confidence in God and my application of the Twelve Steps to my daily living have utterly banished fear. This would not be the truth. The most accurate answer I can give you is this: Fear has never again ruled my life since that day …when I found that a Power greater than myself could not only restore me to sanity but could keep me both sober and sane. Never in 16 years have I dodged anything because I was afraid of it. I have faced life instead of running away from it.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Alcoholics Anonymous Number Three, Ch 9 (“The Man Who Mastered Fear”), pp 284-85.

Today: fear of what? Of the uncertain but predictable consequences of drinking? Of the untested and unfamiliar path of recovery? Of taking responsibility for the consequences of my actions when drunk, when sober? Of telling someone I’m sorry? Of admitting that I can’t do it alone anymore, that I need something higher and stronger than myself? Of the risk of opening myself knowing that once the heart is open nothing will ever be the same? Of facing fear? Of what fear will do to me? Today, if on nothing more than blind faith in something stronger and greater than myself, I confront my fears because I’ve empowered them for far too long. In facing them, God granting, may I have control of my fears — not the other way around. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2024

Oct. 1, 2024 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Tuesday, Oct. 1, 2024

“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.” — Step 11, Alcoholics Anonymous

Today, whether I have embraced a Higher Power or am skeptical either as an atheist or agnostic, Step 11 suggests that I be at least open to the possibility of something greater and stronger than myself. I must also seek the will and way of something other than my own. This is the definition of humility — to be open to learning and carrying out the will of a power stronger and wiser than me. I cannot be reminded or jolted enough that history has proven time and again that running my life on my terms has always led to the same disastrous results and outcome; thus, the insanity of alcoholism. Today, I remember that I am dependent on a wiser and stronger power to guide me on a non-destructive course and that I am risking a slip or relapse if I forget that it hasn’t worked my way. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2024

Sept. 30, 2024 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Monday, Sept. 30, 2024

“11. — Our relations with the general public should be characterized by personal anonymity. We think AA ought to avoid sensational advertising. Our names and pictures as AA members ought not be broadcast, filmed or publicly printed. Our public relations should be guided by the principle of attraction rather than promotion. There is never need to praise ourselves. We feel it better to let our friends recommend us.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Appendices, “The Twelve Traditions” (long form), p 567.

Today, no “praise” for my recovery, be it years of sobriety or my first meeting tonight. While it is appropriate to give a quick pat on the back for working toward recovery, the overwhelming “credit” belongs to the Program without which we have no lifeline to grab and hold onto. If I should boast about my recovery as my own achievement, if I become complacent in sobriety or if I neglect to do what the Program suggests, I have probably neglected my responsibility to be one of its “success” stories anonymously. Today, I will be stingy in claiming my sobriety as my own accomplishment and instead remember that the credit is AA’s. And our common journey continues. Step by Step. — Chris M., 2024

Sept. 29, 2024 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Sunday, Sept. 29, 2024

“12. – …(W)e of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the principle of anonymity has an immense spiritual significance. It reminds us that we are to place principles before personalities; that we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Appendices, “The Twelve Traditions” (long form), pp 567-68.

Today, Traditions 9-12, that anonymity of all those in the Program is a principle rather than a courtesy. If we can understand that a principle is an ethic that governs AA, any personal grievances we have become insignificant and futile in the goal of our individual recoveries and the effectiveness of the Program as a whole. As the 12th Tradition promises, anonymity has the spiritual power for us to be hungry for “genuine humility,” or our desire to know and carry out the will of our Higher Power as we understand Him  and not our will. Today, I renew my commitment to respect the 12th Tradition and all others as AA’s code of ethics. In the process, God grant that I know the humility of the principle of anonymity and, maybe more, develop a higher sense of responsibility to my sobriety. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2024

Sept. 28, 2024 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Saturday, Sept. 28, 2024

“1. — Each member of Alcoholics Anonymous is but a small part of a great whole. AA must continue to live or most of us will surely die. Hence our common welfare comes first. But individual welfare follows close afterward.” — The First Tradition (long form), Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Appendices, “The Twelve Traditions,” p 565.

Today, understand and respect the first tradition of AA, that I am not first and foremost and that my own sobriety and recovery contribute to the effectiveness of the Program as a whole. The sobriety and acceptance for which I have worked are not solely mine but mirror AA’s effectiveness — be it in the eyes of a newcomer or the public and various professional organizations. Because of that responsibility, understand also that sobriety carries a responsibility. My responsibility to my sobriety, then, boils down to being in service as the first tradition states. If I can effectively serve, I may be contributing to my own recovery which, as the first tradition says, comes a close second. Today, my sobriety is not my own and is part of everyone else’s, and I am responsible to work for continued recovery. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2024

Sept. 27, 2024 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Friday, Sept. 27, 2024

“There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance — that principle is contempt prior to investigation.” — Herbert Spencer

” …(A)ny alcoholic capable of honestly facing his problems in the light of our experience can recover, provided he does not close his mind to all spiritual concepts. He can only be defeated by an attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial.
“We find that no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program. Willingness, honesty and open-mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Appendices, “Spiritual Experience,” p 570.

Today, to close my mind to the possibility of a Power greater than myself is equivalent to self-absorption and, as such, my recovery Program predictably will fail. Not only does a Program that focuses on my wants and needs trample over the 12th Step marching order to help the alcoholic who still suffers, it is destined for failure. There is humility and gain in service to others if for no other reason than the possibility that a Higher Power exists and can pull me from inside myself and heed the lessons of other alcoholics. In the process, I may learn that what I think is the enormity of my problems is minuscule against the problems of others. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2024

Sept. 26, 2024 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Thursday, Sept. 26, 2024

“God willing, we members of AA may never again have to deal with drinking, but we have to deal with sobriety every day. How do we do it? By learning — through practicing the Twelve Steps and through sharing at meetings — how to cope with the problems that we looked to booze to solve, back in our drinking days.” -- Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 13 (“AA Taught Him to Handle Sobriety”), p 560.

Today, my Higher Power’s plan for my life and the 12 Steps can take me from dealing with drinking again because my challenge now is not drinking but living sober — living no longer in the problem but being a willing participant in the answer of living sober. In drinking, I experienced what it held for me — fear, anger, disgust, regret, loneliness, pain, resentment. In sobriety, the answers aren’t as clear because I either have lived too long in alcoholism or lived most of my life without sobriety. The key to living in the answer instead of the problem is, indeed, the 12 Steps and faith in the God of my understanding. And if they sometimes lead me to uncertain and even scary places because they are not familiar, I know they cannot be as frightening as the certainty of where drinking will take me again. Today, I choose — because now I have a choice — to live in the solution of sobriety and not in the problem of fighting not to drink. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2024

Sept. 25, 2024 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Wednesday, Sept. 25, 2024

Today, accept myself first in starting to change the things I can — and must. And to change myself, I need the courage and brute honesty to see myself as I really am and not as I want myself and others to see. If I can be strong and honest enough to see in myself what must go and what can be kept, I have to accept the good and bad before I know how to begin the work of moving forward. But if the bad out-weighs the good, I can keep the good as a building block to tear away the bad. If, on the other hand, I accept myself with no improvements needed, I’ve lied to myself. Today, I pray for the courage to change the things I can — me. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2024

Sept. 24, 2024 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Tuesday, Sept. 24, 2024

” …I was convinced that I was having a serious mental breakdown. I wanted help, and I tried to cooperate. As the treatment progressed, I began to get a picture of myself, of the temperament that had caused me so much trouble. I had been hypersensitive, shy, idealistic. My inability to accept the harsh realities of life had resulted in a disillusioned cynic, clothed in a protective armor against the world’s misunderstanding. That armor had turned into prison walls, locking me in loneliness — and fear. All I had left was an iron determination to live my own life in spite of the alien world — and here I was an inwardly frightened, outwardly defiant woman, who desperately needed a prop to keep going.
‘Alcohol was that prop …’” — Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Alcoholics Anonymous Number Three, Ch 4 (“Women Suffer Too”), p 226.

Today, with absolute honesty — maybe for the first time in my life — the temperament of my character misguided me to make the choice of alcohol as the prop to shield myself from “the world’s misunderstanding” and all else I wanted to shut out. In blocking out everything, I went to the only place left — within myself. And there lurked the isolation from anything good, and the loss of good leaves only the bad. My choice was to develop and nurture the bad — and it took me to the darkest places of my poisoned emotional and spiritual soul. Today, the temperament of my character can be tempered by the Twelve Steps. Grant me courage and strength to emerge from the bad and work for the good. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2024

Sept. 23, 2024 - Readings in Recovery: Step by Step

 

Step by Step

Monday, Sept. 23, 2024

“For 18 years, from the age of 21 to 39, fear governed my life. By the time I was 30, I had found that alcohol dissolved fear. For a little while. In the end, I had two problems instead of one: fear and alcohol.” — Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “Personal Stories,” Ch 9 (“The Man Who Mastered Fear”), p 275.

Today, neither fear nor alcohol will be master because I understand now that both are choices — and I choose not to devote any part of today to either. Whether fear came first and triggered my drinking or if my drinking plunged me into fear of virtually everything is of no consequence anymore. Both feed each other, and my permission is required for the exchange to occur. Just as a toddler grows bored with crawling and pushes the challenge to stand on his own, so it is with me: I am tired and bored with my drinking, with fear and it pushing me to the bottle. The time has come to push the challenge to walk again on my own — in sobriety. My recovery program is here to hold my hand. And our common journey continues. Step by step. — Chris M., 2024