Saturday, Oct. 3, 2020
Today’s Gift from Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation is:
Bread of deceit is sweet to man; but afterwards his mouth shall be filled with gravel. — Proverbs 20:17
Going “the third way” means allowing oneself to act dishonestly in a relationship. It means while in a committed, primary relationship, we enter a new relationship without breaking the old one. It also can mean allowing ourselves to be that other party. The third way means we are willing to compromise.
How does this happen? If we’re not habitually honest in our communications, we can easily hint to another that we’re interested and willing to be involved on a level where we’re not free to be involved. The other’s flattering response may make us feel wanted and important. So we go on step-by-step until we are deeply involved in a damaging situation.
The price of the third way trip is always high. It costs us self-esteem, increased shame and guilt, and a daily toll of anxiety. And always, always, the certitude that at some point, the fiddler must be paid.
My relationships can be honest. I owe that to myself and those I care about.
Hazelden Foundation
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